Indiana Jones - too much hype, too little delivery
Last night I went to the cinema with my girlfriend and friends to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. First I want to get it on the record that I am a HUGE Indiana Jones fan and I have been patiently waiting for this sequel for 19 years. So any complaints I may make here are not gratuitous and for kicks. I more than anyone wanted this film to kick ass but after having just watched it and having considered things deeply before writing this, I have come to the opinion that Lucas and Spielberg ended up making a sub-standard movie - but saying that - it could have been a LOT worse.
The main drawback is that we waited too damn long for this movie (19 years) and the anticipation level from fans was consequently too high. Then when we finally get the movie, Ford is 65 years old (and REALLY showing it), Denholm Elliott is dead (leading instead to a rather campy performance by Jim Broadbent), Sean Connery won’t return (he probably saw the script) and the movie is set in 1957 and the bad guys are Russians (give me evil Nazis any day!). Cate Blanchett, who normally delivers knockout Oscar performances looks bored to tears, Ian Hurt looks like he wants to be somewhere else (and probably thinking of 101 ways to kill his manager for getting him into this movie) and Shia LaBeouf is just downright irritating from the moment he appears. I just want to take that crystal skull and smack him with it. He’s the Indiana Jones version of Hayden Christensen. George Lucas really has a knack of finding these irritants.
As for the script, well it’s average, nothing to write home about. I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the minimal computer special effects. Spielberg must have had Lucas on a leash. But the story itself is actually nothing great and the action sequences short and few. I found myself nodding off to sleep a few times and I never thought THAT would happen in an Indiana Jones movie. The problem with the script is that it tries to be too smart. This is Indiana Jones for crying out loud. Therefore the motto is “keep it simple” and throw in lots of action sequences and humour. But no, Lucas and Spielberg have to go off into big convoluted boring storylines with minimal action. This meant they were losing the audience from a very early point who got fidgety and restless. Some even fell asleep, me not being the only one.
But the icing on the cake was the ending. If you want a real jaw-dropper of an ending, a real “what the hell!!”, a “what drugs are Lucas and Spielberg smoking?” ending, then watch this movie. This movie has one of the most ridiculous endings ever. In fact, only Lucas and Spielberg could have come up with an ending like this. They probably think this ending is arty and classy. I found it cringeworthy. I was headbutting the seat in front of me, wishing for some Nazis to come along with their Holy Grail and shoot George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg.
The absolute ending has Indy’s hat falling at the feet of Mutt Williams - Shia LaBeouf. Please God no for the Love of Christ! Either make another Indiana Jones movie (preferably better than this one) or end the whole damn thing. Don’t pass the mantle to LaBeouf. Please Lucas, don’t screw up Indiana Jones the way you screwed up Star Wars! Recognise a good set of movies when you see them and don’t tinker with them. Don’t make “definitive editions”, don’t make “director’s cuts”, don’t make “extended editions with added scenes”. Just leave them alone!
And give me the crystal skull so I can batter LaBeouf. Please.
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August 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I was looking for Mark Seven bag originally used in WW2 by Britians. This is same of its kind used in all Indiana Jones Movies. Finally I ordered from http://indianajonesbag.com but not sure of strap included it, it is too short. Have someone idea to find some larger size? Any suggestion will be great help.